The world is beautiful as long as you want to believe it is. It's rosy when you're pumping with pounding blood in your system, when you're in general in a state of euphoria (of varied stages) and when you're not faced with doubt and hypocrisy so severe and shocking that it dislodges your very sense of self.
It is a cynical world, out there. One that will not change just 'cause you want it to and believe that because you were noble and kept the end of your bargain, everything's going to fall into place, everything is going to work out exactly as you'd hoped.
In spite of everything that goes on in this world people remain the same, no one and nothing changes. its the loop with the counter tending to infinity. Its miserable and pathetic. There is nothing in here that is sane or logical, or some so logical that its inhumane to say the least. everything's dis-functional, programmed to fail. Yet there are people who try, and try to make some sort of an impact, some change, any change. But more often than not they realize that they are either too insignificant or powerless to make even an iota of the changes they had dreamed of.
Life is mundane. Its the same old story being said over and over again with a different protagonist, (each his own of course) with no coherent rhythm or reason for its existence. We might as easily have not existed. Would it have mattered to the cosmos? I'm thinking not.
Getting to the hypocrisy, isn't it rather painfully amusing that no matter how much some people appear to be 'sacrificing', and above all otherwise useless and mundane things of life like jealousy, anger or some supposed vice, they are always, without fail, merely pretending? A pretense they have carried on for so long that they forget it was pretension in the first place. Yet the fact remains that it is not part of who they are. It is not, 'cause it can't be. No one remotely human or otherwise is capable of it because put very simply they are the only entity where their life story begins and ends. There is no other soul that can matter as much as they matter to themselves. Its the very law of nature. Self preservation is too ingrained in us to let go. Any other form of supposed self-less behaviour is only a misplaced or enlarged notion of self. But it is the self. Every time.
Life teaches you many lessons. One of them is to observe and appreciate the remarkable faulty mechanism of life in place that works so perfectly for the imperfect world we live in. The other is living in denial, believing as we are (yet again) programmed to believe, how simply gorgeous life is and how life itself suffices the very meaning of life. The latter is how most of us think and undoubtedly life is comfortable that way; ignorance after all is bliss. But the few who are cursed to look at life in the other way have a forever jinxed mind. It doesn't do you good to know that every good thing done to you is because of an ulterior motive that benefits the benefactor himself.
Despite every change, one thing is certain, nothing will change. The only change significant enough will be when we all perish. Well it is a crooked world and a crooked world it shall remain.
PS: I'm not very sure if this post made much sense, but well its 3 am and I'm sleep deprived. We all know what that can do to the body and mind.
