“I’ve met a man and fallen in love with him. I allowed myself to fall in love for one simple reason: I’m not expecting anything to come of it. I know that, in three months’ time, I’ll be far away and he’ll be just a memory, but I couldn’t stand living without love any longer; I had reached my limit…
Generally speaking, these meetings occur when we reach a limit, when we need to die and be reborn emotionally. These meeting are waiting for us, but more often than not, we avoid them happening. If we are desperate, though, if we have nothing to lose, or if we are full of enthusiasm for life, then the unknown reveals itself, and our universe changes directions.”

Just an excerpt from a book by Paulo Coelho- Eleven minutes. But one that's been playing on my mind more than it should and makes more sense than it could.

As more time goes by.

Yet another semester comes almost to an end. And with it come the compres. And invariably I’m at my emotive best during such trying times.

Nonetheless, this is not just the end of any semester. This is the semester when I complete my so called Core Disciplinary Courses. How much I learnt from them is debatable of course, but I’d like to think I am a little wiser and knowledgeable in all things medicinal at the end of it.

However, pondering over my academic achievements (or lack thereof) was not the intention with which I originally began this post. It’s the startling revelation that I had completely overlooked for a really long time.

I spent most of my introspective moments judging myself on the grounds of individuality, confidence and plain old arrogance. All of them rating exceptionally high on my list of must have attributes. Being one with the crowd, being nice and accommodating so people tend to like you, these qualities have always ranked rather low. I saw them as being weak and ordinary. And I hated ordinary.

But my desire to be different, bold and outrageously so was so all consuming I neglected certain crucial nuances of life. One of them being that it feels nice to be liked by people. And that it doesn’t necessarily mean being ordinary. In fact often it is far removed from it.

As we bid adieu to another set of seniors I have come to realise that my train of thought had been rather narrow. Sure, I wouldn’t trade my individuality for anything in the world, but I wish I had spent my last three years in college being more than that. I wish I had a tangible cause that I would be more important than other priorities; that I had been a better friend; that I had taken an initiative to really know people, intelligent, interesting, nice or even those I had deemed insignificant after a conversation.

In the end with just one more semester to go, you just wish that in your unique little (or big) way, you have a made an impact and a lasting impression.

Random pseudo-‘psenti’ rant.