Yet another semester comes almost to an end. And with it
come the compres. And invariably I’m at my emotive best during such trying
times.
Nonetheless, this is not just the end of any semester. This
is the semester when I complete my so called Core Disciplinary Courses. How
much I learnt from them is debatable of course, but I’d like to think I am a
little wiser and knowledgeable in all things medicinal at the end of it.
However, pondering over my academic achievements (or lack
thereof) was not the intention with which I originally began this post. It’s
the startling revelation that I had completely overlooked for a really long
time.
I spent most of my introspective moments judging myself on
the grounds of individuality, confidence and plain old arrogance. All of them rating
exceptionally high on my list of must have attributes. Being one with the
crowd, being nice and accommodating so people tend to like you, these qualities
have always ranked rather low. I saw them as being weak and ordinary. And I
hated ordinary.
But my desire to be different, bold and outrageously so was
so all consuming I neglected certain crucial nuances of life. One of them being
that it feels nice to be liked by people. And that it doesn’t necessarily mean
being ordinary. In fact often it is far removed from it.
As we bid adieu to another set of seniors I have come to
realise that my train of thought had been rather narrow. Sure, I wouldn’t trade
my individuality for anything in the world, but I wish I had spent my last
three years in college being more than that. I wish I had a tangible cause that
I would be more important than other priorities; that I had been a better friend; that I had
taken an initiative to really know
people, intelligent, interesting, nice or even those I had deemed insignificant
after a conversation.
In the end with just one more semester to go, you just wish
that in your unique little (or big) way, you have a made an impact and a
lasting impression.
Random pseudo-‘psenti’ rant.
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