The numbness

It has been a stagnating long time since my last post. And if you were my diary, I would be apologizing profusely. But as it turns out, you’re not. So deal with it.

However, this is mostly going to be a post in introspection.

Okay, sometime maybe you are a diary.

In this weird inability to pen down my thoughts lately I have come to realize that perhaps it isn't just some clichéd writer’s block. It is perhaps something deeper, something that has got to do with the fundamental methodology of my writing.

There are people who can be unattached to the subject of their writing. People who can rave about random things that don’t matter much to them. There are some others who must feel what they write, must make their own what they write, whether it is their own feelings or somebody else’s. And I perhaps fall in the second category.

And this takes me back to the purpose of this article, that perhaps I haven’t been feeling anything lately that I can call my own. Yes, there have been moments of joy like coming back home, misery that all my friends aren’t here, exhilaration when I go out and have a good time, and disappointment when things don’t go as planned, but somehow none of that or other things
have brought about any expression in the form of words.

I wonder what elicits this kind of numbness and the ability to feel and yet not feel. Whatever it may be, I hope it ends soon enough, for though it might be good to be unaffected, it is a worthless life without the myriad emotions that exist in this world.