A life of lies

The angst is limitless. It is surprising how some people get along with their lives without ever knowing pangs of this kind. For the rest, those sleepless nights when you cry yourself to sleep, where the morbidity of your life finally becomes too much to bear, is when you’re truly alive. Because the rest of time, the ways of the world teach you to leave your inner self behind.
There is nothing more painful than knowing that you are alone. There is no despair greater than when laying on your bed at night, after surviving the whole day with that fake smile plastered on your face, the tears flow relentlessly. And its agony when every day of your life is such a day. The charade of the people around you and the pretence that you yourself are forced to put up take out every ounce of sanity left in you. In the end, it’s just you, the soreness, and the tears.
In this world, nothing is the way it seems. The intertwining of the lunacy, the deceit and so many people is something that is too much to take. You die inside each time you realise that there is yet another way that people can hurt you. And there is nothing you can do. You sit put when all you want to do is run away. To escape. In a place where none is a friend, where none really understands you, it is the pretence that lives on eventually. And at the end of the day, when in the confines of your solitude, you finally let go of this farce, it is impossible not to break down completely. Impossible to stop the pain from flowing into each part of your body. It leaves you cold and damaged.