The perfect ending.

"Life is not perfect; it never will be. You just have to make the very best of it and you have to open your heart to what the world can show you. Sometimes its terrifying and sometimes its incredibly beautiful."

Random quote off the internet. There seem to be a lot many of them around. Some that make tremendous sense. Some others that leave you with that hanging feeling that you would get if a guy had you really turned on and then just left. The quote above is not too different. In the sense that it could mean something, it could lead you to a higher plane of understanding but then it abruptly stops without making any sense at all. Without really clarifying the end. And its just annoying.

It is possible the very function of it was not to give you the end but the means to get there. But that just doesn't matter. You still don't know how to cope. You still struggle to get to the point of solace that you so desperately want to reach. But its a tad difficult when there's a part of you that possibly enjoys this frustration. A part of you that relishes the hurt. A part that just doesn't want to give up in spite of very sound argument against it. And that is annoying too.

I guess its just a matter of the head over the heart or vice versa. And maybe all of this means that I'm terribly weak or maybe that I'm incredibly strong. I can't really tell the difference. And I don't know which one sucks more. But the self-destructive trait is perhaps a little too ingrained. Or maybe its self preservation. I don't really know.

And I'll stop with the vagueness here.

PS: Yes, I know. You're thinking 'Random post off the internet. There seem to be a lot many of them around'.

The morning rant.

This is rather interesting. If you haven't ever done it yet, you're missing out on an invaluable experience.

Its six in the morning, but that is not what's so special about now. What is special is the experience of the night as it slowly turns into day. It is poetic how that happens. The sheen of the moon as it slowly melts into the horizon giving way to the pale pinkish glow of the first rays of the day.

Its things like this that almost make you forget the various hurdles in life, the Compres being the foremost one at the moment. They seem almost trivial if not non-existent, like you could easily overcome them.

And as I breathe in the fresh cool air of the morning, I'm filled with this awe of everything that is around us, and everything that we rarely notice. Cliches aside we really should be more observant.

Its irksome though, knowing that the pleasant breeze will soon turn into the hot and blazing loo. Well, that's Pilani. There's little we can do about it, except maybe take five baths in a day.

That aside though, the Pilani induced insomnia often works out for the best. Through the quiet beauty of the night and the serenity of the morning breeze, one can hope to attain the very allusive and crucial peace of mind.

Te Amo

Te amo.

It’s something that’s beautiful in every language. Te amo. I love you.
Some say I romanticise love way too much. But you hear any love song, read a love story; doesn’t it make your heart sway, feel like it’s floating. So then I say, why not romanticise love? That is how love is.

This song has been stuck in my head for a considerable time now. Playing it on repeat a million times still doesn’t seem enough. What can I say? I’m a sucker for anything romantic. And the song is that, and a bit more.

I’m not very sure why I’m writing this post in the first place. But I just felt I needed to chronicle this feeling, needed to freeze it in time. The rush of warmth, the light-headedness, and the inexplicable swaying. Love songs do that to me (well, so does alcohol).
And I’m hoping real love does that too.

Rant of a long night.

This is one of those posts that I write because I simple have nothing better to do. Or I do have something better to do, except I don't feel the slightest inclination to do it. Like in this case with the ES-II exam on Monday, I should ideally be breaking my head over coils, and rotors and what not. But with the ridiculously small attention span that I have for anything boring, or say, repulsive, it is very very hard to stick to what is right.

So instead, I refreshed the Facebook page a million times. But sadly there isn't much activity going on there at 3.30 in the morning. What can I say, the nocturnal lifestyle isn't as popular as one would like. So instead I read some random articles on Wikipedia, some online magazines, and inevitably watched a few episodes of my favourite sit-coms.

Insomnia is hard when you're alone. The dark empty corridor not to mention hauntingly quiet is a little more than just unsettling. Well, at least the crickets keep you company. But then again, I don't exactly recall anyone say they had a good time with the crickets. Pardon that very stupid last line. One doesn't exactly think sensibly at such an ungodly hour.

In the worst case of boredom, I could attempt deciphering ES-II again.
Ha. No, not even then.

Another movie, perhaps?
Annie Hall. Yes.

Of joblessness, boredom and spite.

There are many things you learn in the course of your life. And in the otherwise mundane sleepy village of Pilani, you’d be surprised at the level of life philosophy that you can learn.

We all know it’s a complex world. Well, I didn’t know exactly how complex till one of those deep and meaningful (albeit drunken and jobless) discussions that you can have only at 1 in the morning with your close friends. It’s surprising how little things can be so humongously blown out of proportion in the land with no malls (and many other things). Where simple courtesy is branded hypocrisy and hypocritical indeed all relationships are, it is rather difficult to find the mental peace one desperately needs at the end of a long hard day (of even if only lying around watching sitcoms).

But in all seriousness, where has life’s simplicity gone to, when people said what they felt and felt what they said, when being nice to people was simply an extension of the niceness in oneself (yes, there is niceness in everybody) without ulterior motives, without judgement at every step? It’s appalling how prompt and incorrect assessment based on nothing but prejudice can tarnish the simplest of intentions.

But I guess that’s how the lives of jobless, frustrated people roll.
That’s right. I can judge too.

Not sure what it's about.

There is an uncanny similarity between all the great moments of realization and clarity. Completely different contexts seem to result in the one Mood. As the world around rejoices (no specific reason, they are strangely always happy), I delve once again in the solemn, not so cheerful shade.

In moments like these I suppose you would expect one to play dark, brooding music and heavy metal. Strangely though that’s not the case with me. I watch the most inane of sitcoms possible. I’ll tell you this; sitcoms have this way about them. When they are sweet, endearing, funny or even plain retarded sometimes, they have this great ability to connect, make you feel better.

It all started with ‘Friends’. Back in 1-2 when I was one of the few to own a laptop in my wing, I would watch episode after episode for hours at a stretch. It was a world of its own, if I may say so.

Either way, this just goes on to show that I do indeed take the step that’s mine to take towards the alluring state called Happiness. This is contrary to the belief that people hesitate to accept happiness out of sheer unfamiliarity. Though this hypothesis has enough merit, it is probably only because of ignorance rather than a lack of desire to attain it.

And if none of that made any sense to you, consider yourself blessed. You still have your brains non-muddled. Some others are not so lucky.